Christmas Mayhem

Sometimes it’s hard not to mangle with Christmas traditions… all in fun, of course. I’m very intrigued by this Advent calendar, for example. My kids are incessantly singing some schoolyard hack of “Jingle Bells,” and every time I hear “The Christmas Song” I’m reminded of a Christmas years ago when a friend who is known for writing his own versions of popular songs recorded a new outgoing message on their answering machine. I forget how the opening lines went, but his jingle ended like this:

Everybody knows
if you hear this, we are not at home —
or we may be call-screening too…
so although it’s been said,
many times, many ways:
“Leave a message, we’ll call you.”