The ciurrent complentarian movement to define Bilblical Manhood & Womanhood is more about ‘manhood’ than anything else. It is good that they call males to greater acoountability and integrity, but they need not accomplish this by surpressing the movement of the Spirit among women.

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You are caught in the cross hairs of what is becoming a huge topic in Christendom today: disciples are NOT being made in the institutional churches today, and the church system is wondering why and therefore trying to remedy the problem with changes and ultimatums.

The reason why there are these types of abuses today in the institutional church system is because it is patterned after the worldly corporate systems. After all, man is far from perfect and a man running a church is going to get pretty agitated when people start leaving, grumbling etc because there goes his livelihood. There were no “leadership offices” in the first century church. Christ was and is the ONLY Shepherd or leader of the church. I strongly urge you to find those who are truly devoted to serving God above all else, who see Christ as the one true Shepherd and gather with them.

Please do not throw out the baby (discipleship) with the bath water (the church you are in). Go back to the New Testament and read about Christ choosing the disciples, how they lived and learned together. Read about the women who became Christ’s disciples. Read about the love all had for one another in the first century church. Then realize this: when Christ called the 12 men to “follow me and become my disciples”, fishers of men, they left everything and entered the inner court to reside with Jesus and learn from him. He called, they answered and became obedient.

The reason why there are so few disciples today is because most to profess to belief in Christ remain in the outer court, ministering to each other, doing whatever they want to satisfy their spiritual longings with a minimum of output to God. They are not maturing and God cannot use them. That is why the church today has no power or authority over all the growing evil here and abroad. Being ‘commissioned” by men to do this or that in a church made with hands does not a disciple make. Doing does not make one a disciple. Christ first said, “follow me”. He did not send out the disciples until later (for instruction). God can not send us out to minister horizontally until we first come to him and learn to minister vertically to him (as did Moses and many others).

You state you feel burdened: if we remain tethered to the world in us, in others, in some church system we reside in presently, this is going to be the case. Christ said to come to him, all who are heavy ladened and he will give you rest! Can you see the difference, between how this church you belong to is run compared to how the true Shepherd and leader, Jesus, cares for his sheep?

Ann Marie, I suggest you set aside all your present agenda and enter the inner court to minister to Father God. Hear and obey what he tells you and move forward into true discipleship/maturity. I guarantee you will not regret it. It will take courage and you may need to be in the desert while he teaches you, but it will be well worth it! Count the cost – move forward into freedom with Christ!

Obviously I don’t know all the intricacies involved, by in general I suspect you need to leave, and be candid about why. It doesn’t sound like this is a situation that’s about to change, but getting people to talk about it and about what’s going on that is wrong may help others to find the courage to move on to a safer place.

Look at Barb Orlowski’s website and book, as well as Rob McAlpine’s book referenced above. Searching online generally for information on spiritual abuse will get you pointed in the right direction. The shepherding movement is spiritual abuse, pure and simple, though people don’t use the same terminology as much now — hence the more general search terms.

At the end of the day, it will be difficult, but the last thing that will be helpful for you and your spiritual growth is to stay put, even if you’re convinced that you can help bring change. From all I’ve seen, bringing the kind of change necessary is extremely unlikely without a significant number of senior leaders on your side against the direction that’s being taken.

Hope this helps!

JESUS LOVE YOU.