Random Acts of Linkage #120

I was hitting the “randomizer” looking for a random photo at stock.xchng and I found this one — it’s called “steph outside shoot 3”. I had to wonder, should she really be outside? She doesn’t look well. And some photographer dragged her outdoors three times? Poor girl. Ah, well. Now some humour with attribution.

“I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.” — Steven Wright
“I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight.” — Rita Rudner
“I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.” — Lily Tomlin
“Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?” — John Mendoza
“I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.” — Elayne Boosler
“When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.” — Rita Rudner
“Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you’ve got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn’t your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.” — Jerry Seinfeld
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I’m halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God….I could be eating a slow learner.” — Lynda Montgomery
The problem with the designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house. — Jeff Foxworthy
“Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.” — Sue Murphy

And on to the weekly linkage, random and otherwise.