Regulars around here know the Saturday routine very well. We begin with some bad jokes, puns, or riddles, then move along to the linkage of the week. I don’t know what it is about the corny jokes, but when I say I’m going to drop them, people comment or email that I need to keep them. It’s rumoured that some people will crack a smile or even re-tell some of them. But I’m sure that’s just a rumour. Well, fasten your seatbelts.
* How can a person be 94 on her last birthday and 96 on her next birthday? Today’s her birthday!
* Why are burglars so relaxed? Because they like to take things easy.
* How do you know the Invisible Man has no children? Because he’s not apparent.
* Why are horses lousy dancers? They have two left feet.
* What do you get if a bee falls in the meat grinder? A little humburger.
* What are cow hides chiefly used for? To hold cows together, silly.
* What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands? A kangaroo.
* Why did the class clown spend the whole night crawling around on the playground? Because he lost his marbles!
* What award did the inventor of the door knocker win? The No-Bell prize.
* What do you call someone who plays basketball in a shirt and tie? A gym dandy!
* What do you call that great feeling you get when you finish your homework? The aftermath!
On that last one, I think that’s the feeling when your kids finish the homework you were helping with, and they didn’t catch on that you really were out of your element. C’mon, Venn Diagrams in grade 5??? Sheesh. I am so rusty on so many subjects….
Well alright, let’s step over this way to the random linkage, shall we?
- Obama Inauguration-related posts: Obama and the Internet (TSK); Obama’s Playlist, CBC Radio2’s gift to Obama, 49 songs from north of the 49th parallel. There’s also Inauguration Day, seen from space (via). The event was much-watched, of course, whether on television or streaming over the Internet. In fact, some Open Source hackers did a quick coding marathon in order to have a player that supported the live Internet feed. Gotta love that Open Source. Speaking of which, the new administration is considering Open Source, which could save the US more than $400Billion per year; Scott McNealy of Sun has been asked for a paper on the subject.
- Avid CBC Radio listeners will know who “The Voice” is… his intro to the show on the day after Obama’s inauguration ran as follows:
Barack Obama spent his first ten minutes in the White House alone in the Oval Office, reading the traditional letter from his predecessor. Currently, Actually – it only took him 2 minutes to read the letter. He spent the next 8 minutes trying to find “Re-Habliterate” in the dictionary.
I’ve noticed that Americans can tend to be gracious toward an outgoing president, as though the sitting president is the only “fair game.” In Canada, there’s no statute of limitations on ridiculing a national political leader.
- If you ask me, it’s probably a list too far — 1000 novels everyone must read: the definitive list. The thing is, most people haven’t read 1,000 novels or anything close to that… let alone the ones on this list.
- Happy 10th Anniversary, Robbymac!
- Seth Godin names The best middle name ever
- 10 Words That Will Help You Win at Scrabble: I already knew “adz”, but the rest of these…
- Fight trauma with Tetris?
- Movie Trivia: The Princess Bride — “Rob Reiner once ran into John Gotti at a restaurant. One of his henchmen, who was outside waiting on Gotti as Reiner was leaving, looked Rob in the eye and growled, ‘You killed my father, prepare to die.’ Reiner said he about ‘went’ in his pants right there, but then the thug said, ‘Princess Bride, I love that movie!'”
- Can you figure out the ending to The Italian Job? The original, with Michael Caine.
- When Jesus Came to Birmingham
- Another Trevin Wax book review, Is American Evangelicalism Dying? Although I already know the answer, the discussion looks interesting.
- The Old Bill on the NFB Screening Room — check out “The Big Snit” and others.
- Alan Hirsch: So, follow the yellow brick road
- Saving this to wrap up with — post of the week from Jonny Baker: the social pulpit – barak obama gets it
Alright, an unrelated postscript… because this is just stunning: