Where do pirates go on vacation? Arrrruba.

Why was the pirate wearing a parka? Because he was in the Arrrrctic.

What does a pirate drive? A caarrrrr.

What does a pirate fly? An aarrrrrrplane.

What does a pirate sail? A pirate ship. Duh.

I went into a bar last night and ordered a double. The barman brought out someone who looked exactly like me.

A man was driving into town when his car he fell into a big hole in the middle of the road. A farmer came up and said, “My horse Sebastian can pull you out.” The man is skeptical, but of course agrees to let him try. When Sebastian was hooked up to the car, the farmer shouted, “Pull Ranger! C’mon Benny! Lets go Delilah!” Then he says, “Pull, Sebastian, pull!” The car comes easily up out out the hole. The man is a little confused, and says, “Sebastian is a very strong horse, but why did you call him by the wrong name three times?” The farmer replied, “Well, it’s because Sebastian is very strong, but blind and a little lazy. If he knew that the other horses weren’t pulling, he wouldn’t even try.”

It’s fashionable to do posts with a collection of mismatched links. Rick Meigs is linkwalking, and even Brian McLaren has got into the act. And of course, Scot McKnight wanders on. The aforementioned links are presented by way of apology — I’ve been too much on the go and have hardly done any reading online in the past week. Weekly random goodness should be — hopefully — back up to snuff next week. It’s Advent after all, and I need to slow down. Here are a few quick ones, though.

1. Essays on a missional hermeneutic
2. Len Hjalmarson asks a good question out of Phyllis Tickle’s Great Emergence, The: How Christianity Is Changing and Why
3. The Liturgical Gangstas on spiritual growth
4. John Smulo has started Blog Comment Day — December 3^rd this year.
5. A new low for consumerism? Wal-Mart worker trampled to death in “Black Friday” stampede.
6. iMonk interviews David Hayward: you’ll gain a whole new respect for The Naked Pastor.
7. Advent Conspiracy
8. Happy Birthday Jack
9. A holiday warning

I’ve written a couple of things worth reading in the past week, if I do say so myself, so stick around and browse the archives. Start with yesterday’s post about my new God.