eternal-life-coupon.jpg Bet you didn’t know you could get an Eternal Life Coupon, did you? Such things were apparently found in ancient Egypt.

So how about some more “walks into a bar” jokes?

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer, and a mop.

A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “I can’t serve you.” “Why not?” replies the mushroom. “I’m a fun-guy.”

A piece of string walks into a bar. He hops up onto a stool and yells to the bartender, “Hey! Gimme a drink!” The bartender picks up the string and throws it into the street. The string thinks, “I’ll show him. I’ll go back in disguise, he won’t know it’s me, and at the last minute I’ll humiliate him. So the string contorts its body into a whole different shape, and frizzes its hair. It goes back in, hops onto the stool and asks for a drink. The bartender says, “You’re that piece of string I threw out 5 minutes ago.” The string replies, “No — I’m a frayed knot.”

Guy walks into a bar and says, “Drinks for everyone, and barkeep, pour one for yourself too.” Everyone thanks him and, a few minutes later, he buys another round for everyone including the bartender. Then he orders a third round, and the barkeep says, “Sure, but you’d better pay for the first two rounds before I pour the third.” Mr. Generous says, “Oh, I don’t have any money.” The bartender beats him up and throws him out into the street. A few minutes later he picks himself up and walks back into the bar and says, “Barkeep, drinks for everyone. But not for you, you get nasty when you’re drunk.”

A guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender looks up and says “Where did you get that ape?” The guy says, “This isn’t an ape, it’s a duck”. Bartender says “I was talking to the duck”.

  1. Sadly, silenced: Tom “Bigbulkyanglican” Allen has passed away.
  2. Those Celts were way ahead of their time: A Celtic Prayer for Recovery of Corrupted Data ;^)
  3. Stacey Campbell Apologizes for Confusing Todd Bentley Commissioning Prophecy (HT)
  4. A bit of Beattitudinal Liturgy from Kathy Escobar
  5. Just to remind you that these revolutionary church ideas floating around now are not that new, David Neff quotes Howard Snyder, dating back more than 30 years.
  6. Nobody could have guessed Sarah Palin, right? Well, one blogger called it in February 2007. Speaking of the ol’ Barracuda, if we’d let her name our kids, their names would have been Ripper Shook and (shudder) Shaver Razorback, according to the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator. And have you seen the best SNL intro they’ve aired since the early ’80s?
    [ RSS Readers may need to click through ]
  7. What’s a village without an idiot? Looks like Emergent Village has an idiot now. They’re a real village!
  8. Thomas Kincade Bible Set for Release
  9. With Bush set to leave office, there’s a whole new financial crisis brewing. (HT) I suppose this could be averted if Bush declares martial law in the US and remains in power indefinitely. As the conspiracy theory I heard this week puts it, this is plausible, and he’s been practicing his technique for a few years already.
  10. Mark Sayers lists 5 Things We Got Wrong in the Emerging Missional Church, and Andrew Jones lists two more. At the current juncture when some re-evaluation is going on about the state of the emerging church even as the missional conversation continues to gather stream, lessons like these can be very instructive as to how we proceed. Interesting that of the seven items listed, three have to do with the definition of terms.
  11. Premature or overstated at Out of Ur: R.I.P. Emerging Church… summary of the recent wrestling with terminology. It gets the Luca Brasi metaphor from The Godfather wrong, too… the message was that Luca that “slept with the fishes”; he wasn’t handed a fish.
  12. After Ben Witherington finished reviewing Frank Viola’s latest, a discussion ensued between Ben and Frank; these are only two of the posts. Better make a fresh pot of coffee and get comfortable before settling in to read them all.
  13. Did someone say free book? Download Roger Thoman on simple/house churches.
  14. Bill Kinnon calls “Benched” a neighbourhood missional moment
  15. Okay, one thing that pretty much never happens is that I hear about a Christian fiction novel and suddenly want to read it. But then there comes Ben Witherington’s announcement of the release of his first novel, The Lazarus Effect, an archaeological mystery. Now, I like archaeological mysteries — not a particularly crowded genre — and BW3 is a New Testament scholar with a a degree in English literature. How can you miss? Well, for one, I haven’t found anyone that has it in stock and ships to Canada.
  16. Still in book news, Ed Cyzewski’s book on contextual theology, Coffeehouse Theology: Reflecting on God in Everyday Life is out now. I’ll be doing something more in-depth on it in October.
  17. Brant Hansen: LeaderMan vs. Servant Leader
  18. David Fitch on conversion in missional churches
  19. The Lazy Bloggers Post Generator
  20. Mainframe v distributed church — “Is your church a dumb terminal? Are you?”

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