Comments on: Untitled Post on Spiritual Abuse Recovery

By: Recovery from Spiritual Abuse - Part 2D: Add-On â€“ Cultural Dynamics and Governance « futuristguy

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 06:15:44 +0000

[...] Maynard’s post on Untitled Post on Spiritual Abuse Recovery and Philip Zimbardo on Bad [...]

By: Brother Maynard

Brother Maynard — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:14:28 +0000

Sonja —
One of the quotes that shows up randomly in my sidebar: “How fortunate for leaders that men do not think.” Adolph Hitler. Those of us who don’t consider the observation fortunate should consider it a warning.

Brad —
The issue can feel tedious at times, but is important. Online, we keep finding people who have been through similar experiences and are just beginning to break free… finding discussion like this can be not only a healing balm, but can also provide some needed courage. My post today (just a few minutes ago) references the question of why good leaders do evil deeds. Lots to think about there, particularly for those of us who were leaders in abusive systems.

By: brad

brad — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 15:13:31 +0000

Hi Sonja and Bro. Maynard, and thanks for your links, comments on the series on recovery from spiritual abuse, and the general encouragement to keep plugging away at it. I’m working on the next set of posts, and the DIY questions for those are already going through me … such as Why was I susceptible to being “picked off” by abusive leaders? And Why were they susceptible to becoming that way? And – here’s the real kicker – Is there really all that much difference in the sources of our unhealthiness or is it “same root, different fruit”?

Speaking of questions, I wonder how often our questions were misinterpreted as attacks against a leader when in fact they were just our attempt to be a learner.

Also, I find it intriguing that there is this whole cadre of bloggers addressing issues of spiritual abuse, toxic leaders, syncretized systems, etc. Isn’t it ironic that we who were probably all accused of going against the authority of our church elders are now in the odd and unwanted role of eldership in the broader Church as “authorities” on these issues?

I appreciate that you take Christlike transformation seriously and contribute to the conversations with vulnerable posts processing your experiences. It is such a relief to know we’re not alone …

By: sonja

sonja — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 12:56:33 +0000

“Governance in a church system is important. Believe it or not, I didn’t realize until after we left that our CLB had no mechanism for removing an elder except through church discipline. I had just never really thought enough about it.”

“Believe it or not, I didn’t realize [fill in the blank here]. I had just never really though enough about it.”

How many of us who are currently struggling through this whole issue can say those two sentences about some large piece of our CLB governance? I’m beginning to realize that this is perhaps a key to the ability of leaders to abuse. And followers who are abused simply don’t ask enough questions.

In the culture of church it is considered impolite and distrusting to ask questions. Why would we need to? We’re all Christians … and no one is going to hurt anyone in God’s house, right? It’s a “sanctuary” after all.

Brad’s series is so helpful … I’m working through his DIY questions and there will likely be some posts that come out of that for me.