Len’s got a good post on what it means for elders to “rule.” I (like many others) have had some bad experience around the whole question of authoritarian church leaders… and for a number of years, I was one of ’em. I’ve come to a much different understanding of how leadership and “authority” are to work in a church context — Len’s post considers a number of New Testament texts and the meaning of the associated Greek words.
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I wonder if it also has a lot to do with the person asserting the “rule.” As in Margaret Thatcher’s definition of a lady, that is, if you have to tell everyone that you are one, then you are not. In like fashion if you must go around telling everyone to obey you and slapping them with the iron fist of your eldership, perhaps that’s really not what Paul had in mind. Perhaps you gots a lot of maturing to do.