This is stunning — an AP story: Lions Rescue, Guard Beaten Ethiopian Girl (with HT: Urban Onramps):

ABABA, Ethiopia (AP) — A 12-year-old girl who was abducted and beaten by men trying to force her into a marriage was found being guarded by three lions who apparently had chased off her captors, a policeman said Tuesday.

This one is quite over the top. “Safe? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.” (C.S. Lewis, LWW)