I feel like I’m on an inevitable march toward leaving my church congregation. I’m looking for reasons and excuses not to be there on Sunday mornings, but with Christmas looming and special occasions surrounding the season, it’s a bit more difficult, especially with the kids. I’m digging for the fortitude to stick it out for 4 more Sundays. Today there’s a special breakfast before the meeting, which is supposed to be lighter fare of testimonies and such. Maybe we’ll see how I feel after breakfast. One of the kids is fighting a cold, so I could decline to put her in the nursery and take her home… that was my excuse last week.

How can I love Jesus and feel this way about his church? I guess I feel this way about the “org” – I do love the people in his church, it’s what happens when they organize that’s the problem.

Update: so I went, had waffles and visited with some folks I quite like… but once we got into the worship (by which I mean the singing part) I started to feel kinda smothered. I know it’s just me, there was nothing wrong with the meeting – it was probably even better than many, but I’m unable to connect at the moment. I made it most of the way, ducked out when the sermon seemed to be coming in to a landing. Drove home listening to The Vinyl Cafe, one of Stuart’s classics, “Dave Cooks the Turkey.” His show was followed by a promo for a conversation with the people from Killing The Buddha, which looks not necessarily uplifting but somewhat intriguing…

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